It’s no coincidence that your man drives you crazy, or your woman pushes you to your limits.
It’s a mirror—a brutal mirror, but so precise!
It reflects your unhealed childhood wounds.
When she looks at him, he looks away.
When she asks questions, he shuts down.
When she approaches, he pulls away.
What does she really want? It’s not a man. It’s a dad—the one who was never there for her, offering no attention or affection.
What does he flee from? It’s not his woman. It’s his mother, the one who controlled everything, who suffocated him, who manipulated him.
You are not toxic. You are wounded.
As for love, it exposes everything.
So you try to love while getting hurt, believing that the other will fix you. But no! Love does not heal. It awakens and demands that you confront what you unconsciously flee from. Love throws it back in your face without any delicacy.
What if he wasn’t the problem? What if she wasn’t either?
But rather, what love triggers or activates in your body—an emotional memory from childhood that is still there, buried and unconscious—and what if it gets activated through new experiences, and triggers without even knowing?
It’s not the relationship that makes you suffer. It’s the emotional memories that this relationship awakens like an absence, a fleeting gaze, a prolonged silence, and boom! Your internal alarm system goes off. Not because it’s serious, but because it’s familiar.
Your body hasn’t forgotten what your mind has tried to bury. That partner who ignores you? He reopens the wound of the absent father, the one you waited for so long at the door.
That person who is too present? She presses on the wound of the suffocating mother, the one who taught you to fade away to deserve a little love.
It’s not the other. It’s what your nervous system has never digested. As long as you haven’t released the emotions stuck in your body, you will keep falling back, again and again, into the same infernal circles
- Unstable attachment
- Fear of rejection
- Irresistible need to please
- Fear and panic of being alone
The truth is, understanding is not enough. You already know everything! You’ve understood it all. You’ve analyzed everything. You’ve cried for a long time. But nothing has changed! Because what you are experiencing doesn’t come from your head; it comes from your body, from that emotional memory engraved in your body, along with its wounds and regrets.
What you call “love” is often a conditioned attachment.
What you flee from in the other is often a ghost from your past.
What you believe to be bad luck in love is often a transgenerational emotional program.
The good news?
In the healing process, everything transforms into a profound sense of inner strength and resilience. It fundamentally changes you, allowing you to emerge as a powerful being by releasing negative emotional memories that no longer serve you.
This transformation occurs as you heal the deep-seated father wound, fostering growth and empowerment. It also changes you by guiding you to let go of the burdens associated with the mother wound, paving the way for a more liberated and fulfilling existence.
Excerpt from the book
“The Little Voice of my Inner Child”
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Wafa El-Amrani 